Modern Psychology and the Fundamentalist August 14, 2009

I think it should be required by law of every Christian in America to take at least a few college courses in modern psychology.  It’s appalling and becoming increasingly apparent to us and to the rest of the world just how ignorant we’ve allowed ourselves to become concerning even the most basic subjects of secular studies.  I am learning more and more what a disconnect there is between what we as Evangelicals believe to be true and what is actually true.  Many of us are waking up to reality with symptoms similar to that of post traumatic stress disorder.  We are taught to believe, in 5 point sermons, that if we live and behave in certain ways, then God will bless us and we can expect certain results to follow.  But then what happens when we find the opposite is true?  We’ve done all the good stuff we know to do, but then we find ourselves deeply in debt.  Or a child dies.  Or a spouse leaves.  Or we’re clinically depressed.  Then following that logic, we must have done something to deserve it, right?

We believe that if it’s in the Bible then it must be true, and, conversely, that if it’s NOT in the Bible then it must NOT be true.  But what happens when life and Bible aren’t so black and white on certain subjects?  For example, the Bible doesn’t really address what to do when it comes to mental illnesses.  Sure, the Bible describes that which, today, thanks to modern science and medicine, we can now name.  It describes those who struggle with depression or even personality disorders, but back in those days were said to be struggling with “demons.”  So, we’ve taken that literally to mean that there are in fact demons plaguing everything, when in fact there might just be a perfectly sound medical reason behind it.  I think this is where the “demon behind every bush” mentality comes from, from which many Christians suffer.  Whenever someone had symptoms of what we now know to be biologically explainable, it was reasoned that a “demon” was behind that behavior.  Could it possibly be that they simply lacked the knowledge and the vocabulary that we have today?  Demons are, after all, a whole lot easier to explain and shift blame upon than abandonment issues and schizotypal personality disorder!

This is where I think the life of the American Evangelical is guided by a sense of Christian “superstition” more than it is on true Biblical knowledge and sound wisdom.  In an effort to remain untouched by the evils of this world, we have separated and sheltered ourselves, at the cost of being in touch with reality, and allowed our lives and our faith to become something resembling that of an ancient relic in a museum:  interesting to look at, but having no legitimate function and thus serving no real purpose in today’s world.

Many church leaders give counseling, while they are hardly qualified to do so.  Very few of them have had any training.  Even fewer have any respect at all for modern psychology as a legitimate science.  Many of them are, in fact, in dire need of counseling themselves.

I have, for years, struggled with depression and anxiety.  Several of my family members have struggled with these conditions as well.  My aunt and my first cousin (my dad’s sister and her son) both committed suicide due to mental illness.  Of course, I went for years without being diagnosed.  Once I became a Christian, I heard that depression was a “demon” and that if I just prayed enough, fasted enough, read my Bible enough, stopped listening to all that rock ‘n roll music (it is the “Devil’s music,” after all), stopped watching R-rated movies, stopped drinking alcohol, and a whole host of other prescriptions offered by misguided but well-meaning believers, that I would no longer be plagued by that demonic spirit of depression.  I think all that was missing from this spell was the addition of an eye of newt, frog’s breath, and the bark of a dog at the moon at midnight!  Ren and I have remarked on how similar witchcraft and Christianity can be in certain circles.  We call it Witchianity.  We read our book of special magic words (the Bible) and recite our incantations (prayers) over whatever situation we currently need help with and–POOF!  Your wish is my command.

Needless to say, here I am 13 years, 4 children, 3 mortgages, and 2 bouts of postpartum depression later, and I find myself on Zoloft.  *Screech*  What?!?!?  You mean all that praying and scripture recitation didn’t help???  I have been on Zoloft now for about 4-5 months.  And what can I say?  It doesn’t feel like I’m “on” anything at all.  I feel, for the first time in a long time, normal.  Whatever that means.  I feel more like myself than I’ve ever felt.  I feel like this is the real me; the “me” that was previously being hidden by and shrouded in guilt, fear, anger, shame, and depression.  It’s honestly one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life.  I now think to myself, “So this is what it feels like to love what you do.  This is what it feels like to be thankful and not be afraid all the time.  This is what it feels like to actually enjoy your life.”

I now understand why the rest of the world is so completely fed up with us and our message.  I get it.  I’ve been told the same thing.  “Just change yourself by doing X, Y, Z.  You’ll be much, much happier.”

Yeah?  But what if it’s not that simple?  Because I’m living proof of that it isn’t.

I don’t think the Bible is supposed to be an owner’s manual of answers for all problems we have in this life.  I’ve often thought that instead of reading the Bible as a prescription for life, is it to be read more as a description of the lives of men and women, who were inspired by God.  The Bible is not a science book, nor is it a self-help manual.

We preach values that even we cannot keep.  What are people supposed to think of parents who tout the political message of abstinence, while their children are getting pregnant out of wedlock?  Or a pastor that preaches against homosexuality, and yet has clandestine affairs with a male prostitute in his spare time?  How is the rest of the world supposed to take our views on marriage seriously when even we do not, and those within the church are experiencing the same divorce  rate as those outside the church?  There’s a serious problem here, and it’s high time we paid attention to it.  It might seem that I’m coming down too hard on my peeps here, but I think it might be necessary.  We are smarter than this.  We can do better.

A few years back there was a popular baby-rearing method floating around in Christian circles called Babywise or Growing Kids God’s Way (rather presumptuous title, don’t you think?) developed by Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo.  While many have used and praised the method for getting children to sleep through the night, much of their advice goes directly against what the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends.  Still, because they were Christians, many well-meaning but misguided believers put their methods into practice.  Since then, thankfully, their teachings have become quite controversial and less popular, since much of what they taught has been debunked by actual doctors, as unfortunately many babies suffered as a result of their lack of expertise.

I am tired of the lie that we must either choose between the Bible or what the secular world has to offer.  There’s the world’s way or there’s God’s way.  God’s politics or the world’s politics.  Is God really a card-carrying Republican?  Must there always be such an ultimatum?  Is God really so far removed from the ways of men and women?  This is fundamentalism at its very worst, because it limits the ways in which God can work.  Talk about putting God in a box.  Fundamentalism, no matter what it’s based upon, is a dangerous way to approach this complex, complicated, vast world in which we live.  If we choose to believe only in science, then we’ve turned our backs on all the wonderful ways that faith in God can enrich a person’s life.  If we choose to believe in JUST the Bible, then we reject all the valuable information that field experts have dedicated years of their lives to discover.  I think the challenge for us to try and find a balance somewhere in between, for it is there where we will find the most peace.

Once again, Michael, over at The Christian Monist, has a lot of insight on this as well.  I thought this post was outstanding.

Enough August 6, 2009

I am so tired of hearing the message of “Whatever you’re currently doing isn’t enough.”  I’m sure you’ve heard this message in one form or another.  It’s the pervading message of the world all around us.  Got a problem?  Well, you probably did something to deserve it.  I am certainly not trying to absolve everyone from all personal responsibility.  Far from it.  But does everything always come back down to something that you or I did wrong?  I am sure that if I wracked my brain long enough I could always drudge up something, for God’s sake!  For example, as a Christian, I am tired of picking up books promising me help in a certain area, only to find a few chapters later, that all the problems I have are all somehow my fault.  Got troubles in your life?  Well, it’s because you’re not praying enough.  Not reading your Bible enough.  Not tithing enough.  Not in a small group.  Not attending church regularly.  Not serving enough.  Do you find yourself having miscarriages or struggling with allergies?  Well, it’s because you haven’t repented on behalf of your great grand-pappy who was once a practicing Free Mason.  If you think I’m kidding about that last one, I’ve actually heard someone make a case for that before.  This is the message of the Pharisees (the religious leaders in Jesus’ day), to whom Jesus very clearly spoke these words:

“Instead of giving you God’s Law as food and drink by which you can banquet on God, they package it in bundles of rules, loading you down like pack animals. They seem to take pleasure in watching you stagger under these loads, and wouldn’t think of lifting a finger to help.” (Matthew 23:4, Msg)

Jesus also said,

Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.  Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”  (Matthew 11:29, Msg).

Freely and lightly?  Sign me up!  When I think about the load that many people are under in this day and age, it truly boggles my mind.  My friend, Erin, and I were talking the other day about how many jobs women today have to fill and how unrealistic it is.  As Christian stay-at-home-moms, and I use that as an example simply because that is the culture in which I have experience, we expect ourselves to be meal-planners, car-poolers, social coordinators, accountants, maids, cooks, counselors, coaches, and then at the end of the day we’re supposed to make sure that our relationships with our spouses are healthy and intact.  On top of all that, if we want to be really good, we need to be actively involved at church.  And then if we’re homeschooling, add the job of a school teacher.  Or room mother.  Or…fill in the blank.  That’s quite a tall order to fill.  I mean, does anyone else see how crazy all this is?    I think we might be missing something, or at the very least, our focus is wrong.

When I first came to know Christ, I remember that free and light feeling.  It literally felt like a thousand lead bricks had been gently lifted, by loving and kind hands, off of my bruised and burdened back.  Yet it wasn’t long after that I, and the rest of the world, began replacing that oppressive load all over again, brick by burdensome brick.  My own insecurities, my need for approval, and expectations of those I cared about all contributed in laying an impressive and impermeable foundation.  I’ve had moments in my life since then, however-the number in which I can unfortunately only count on one hand-where I felt for just a few moments that a fracture in that foundation would occur; and beautiful, heavenly light would shine through.  These were the moments when I have felt completely loved and accepted.  As I am.  No worries.  No fear.  No expectations.  No striving for approval.  No…more, more, more.  And then as quickly as the dream would begin, I’d find myself ripped out of the reverie and returned to the world of struggle and strife; where the only things that matter are what I do, what I earn, and what I produce.

Not who I am.

My friends, that can NOT be the Kingdom of God!

I am more convinced than ever that God is more interested in who we are than what we do.  You can be the most handsome, polished, upstanding citizen and still have a heart that is black as coal.  Jesus said in Matthew 23:25-28 (NLT),

“…You are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy—full of greed and self-indulgence! Blind Pharisees! First wash the inside of the cup, and then the outside will become clean, too…You are like whitewashed tombs—beautiful on the outside but filled on the inside with dead people’s bones and all sorts of impurity. You try to look like upright people outwardly, but inside your hearts are filled with hypocrisy and lawlessness.”

God is far less concerned about our appearances, our earning power, our status, our productivity, what we do, than He is with our very selves.  As a parent of four children, I am far more concerned with my children and who they are as people and how they are treating each rather than how perfectly they are behaving themselves.

I think this is the very message (i.e., lie) from which Christ came to set us free.  Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.  He who the Son sets free is free indeed.  His yoke, as opposed to any other yoke, is easy and His burden is light.  This is the life that Christ came to give the world, because the world works in systems of measurement, grades, and comparison.  This is the message that the Church should be reminding us of on a daily basis, and not reinforcing the “What more can you do?” message.  Instead, our message should be one of freedom, hope, love, and redemption.

You cannot earn God’s love, favor, or acceptance.  We are told this when we first come to know Jesus as our Lord.  But then there’s a little bit of a bait and switch thing that happens.  The minute we are transposed from the world of darkness to light, so begins the lists of “do’s” and “don’ts.”  The rules and lists of “acceptable” lifestyles, appearances, and behaviors.  The “correct” ways to vote.  The “proper” courses to study in school.

Enough is enough!

Christ is enough.

And you are enough for Christ.

Dualing Banjos August 3, 2009

Well, I got such great feedback from everyone with the last post.  So, if you haven’t had enough of dualism yet, there’s a whole lot more where that came from, and I think it’s my new found calling in life to bring it to the masses ad nauseum.    I read this article by Nancy Scott called “Dueling with Dualism” not too long ago, and it really struck a chord with me.  I encourage you to read the whole thing, but I will share with you my favorite passage:

To separate our experience into spiritual and material, leads us to place value on the pursuit of “spiritual” things over the pursuit of “earthly” things. For the Christian college student, her pursuit of literature and the arts becomes “fleshly,” which is “less than” a spiritual pursuit. Since God is not in “the flesh,” the most valued vocations for her as a Christian are those involving spiritual things. For the Christian mother, tending to the needs of her children becomes “fleshly,” and perhaps frustrating to her, when she would rather pursue loftier, “spiritual” things. She may consider ministry, Bible study, and church activity the “better” things to do; when in reality, loving her children the best she can is the higher task.

If instead we carry with us an integrated view of the spiritual and the material worlds, we are free to pursue the plethora of options God has laid before us. If the highest human experience is moral beauty, then it matters less what I do (non-moral) and more how I do it (moral). I can pursue expressing myself in the arts, literature, or science as a joyous expression of the creature God created me to be. The college student can firmly embrace her studies on the campus, while thinking critically about the ideas presented. She can choose the vocation for which God has given her a desire, and see His hand in whatever she chooses to do, without the fear that anything can turn her heart away from the posture she has before God. God is the one holding her heart, and He is faithful. (emphasis mine)

Oh man.  Isn’t that beautiful???

I also really dug what she had to say about reading the Bible, keeping in mind the cultural context in which it was written and the audience for whom it was written.  This is one of the reasons that I love the Emerging Church‘s teachings.  I know that may deem me a heretic in some circles, but…oh well!  They acknowledge this.  They point out to us how easy (and lazy, might I add) it is to read the Bible with our own cultural frame of reference into the Bible, and completely miss out on what the true inspiration of the text really meant for its intended audience to hear.  In other words, missing the heart of what the author is saying and rather focusing on the literal law of the letter of the word.  I’ve seen too many people do this and use the Bible to justify abuse.  This is why we don’t take verses like those that admonish slaves to obey their masters, women to keep silent in church and not cut their hair short, literally.  We look at the broader message of grace, love, and respecting the culture around us even if we don’t necessarily agree with it, which unfortunately we haven’t always done a great job of doing.  Maybe, just maybe, it isn’t too late to start.